Dating Guidelines

It’s your first date with a girl you’ve liked for months. Okay, maybe years. The night is drawing in for a close and you’ve only got a few moments to make an impression. How does one end such a wonderful night? How does one leave yet still make her want another date?

Don't rush in for a kiss.

Considering it’s a first date, it’s not practical to jump in for a kiss. Some, or even most girls, prefer to save the kiss for another date. If you’ve only met her during that date, then a kiss is not advisable. If you’ve known her for quite some time, build up the moment. Don’t surprise her but don’t make her expect it either. Find a moment in the middle. An indication of silence after a good night usually says “kiss me, damn it.”

Keep it cool.

If you’re very nervous, do not show it. Or at least, don’t make it too obvious. Don’t panic if you can’t find the right words. Do your best to stay smooth but alert for signals. Keep the conversation going without any awkwardness. Silences are acceptable, as long as they are appropriate.

The best way to end a first date is by making a segue to the next one.

Whoever says single parents are not allowed to find another mate is dead wrong. Single parents still have the right to be happy even if society dictates for them to just take care of the children. I recalled my Asian History class. Widowed Indian women are required to commit sutti the moment their husbands die. They are not allowed to enter another marriage even if they wanted to. But this is not feudal India, it's the postmodern era now. So dating single parents is perfectly normal and acceptable in most societies.

Finding a mate while tending to your children and working seems like a tedious task. Although there are many available fast and convenient ways to meet your perfect mate like speed dating, it's not easy to find a mate that can last forever. There are cautions to take note of because the welfare of your children is also affected by whom you date. This means that you have to be really careful and meticulous in dating someone. Don't just pick anyone from the streets. Choose who you know loves you and will take care of your children. It's better to meet someone whom your children is comfortable with.

Letting someone, whom a single parent barely knows, into the house is the number mistake among dating single parents. If you meet someone during speed dating or blind dates, don't give away any personal particulars because you don't know the person very well. It's better also to start off as friends to know the person more intimately. It will also establish good relationship between the new partner and your kids. Never force your children to like the person you're dating because it's not going to work well for you. Lastly, the most important thing that you should rememeber is to be honest with your children. Talk to them openly about your date and assure them that nothing's going to change. In this way, you can have a healthy love life and family life.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking for a photo if you were going to date a guy or a girl. I mean, schmeeves, dudes. What's a profile for if it doesn't have a photo? The last sin you'll ever commit at pre-dating stage is to eat out with a total no-name-face gal. After all, you won't ask a girl you meet on the subway if you haven't caught a glimpse of how curvaceous her ass is. Or how you like the glint of her curly eyelashes, or even the sight of her attractive auburn hair. Photos speak way more mysteriously than a Mona Lisa portrait -- especially if they belong to strangers.

Guideline Number One is to never date someone who hasn't placed a photo in her profile. This is the Visual Age (as it has always been) so no matter how much Adobe Photoshop retouching has been done to a butt-ugly missus' photo, it's still way better than none at all. The bottom line is that you got to have an idea of how she looks like and it will always be up to you whether you'd be happy to go cellulite-hugging or fugly-kissing anytime of the day. As things always spiral down to a happy ending, if she shows her butt in the photo, it would be a hell lot better for both of you.

I don't know if it works with girls, but I know a woman named Cindy who doesn't look at a guy's face to tell if he's a hot number or not. She can always tell by intuition. Guys aren't so smart at this. They talk on the mobile and convince the lady she's going out with a nice dork, only to realize she comes around with a boyfriend that looks like he's got a nine-inch nail. Profile photos can really trick you, so ask the girls how to learn to intuit whether someone is a gravy date or not. But I'd stick to the guideline, if I were you.

Those painful words from a woman's lips have pierced through the hearts of even the manliest of men. This could be very excruciating for most dudes, like a kick in the balls, especially when you keep hearing it from almost every woman you date. Maybe this is why they see you as nothing more than a "friend" is because you are acting as a "friend" instead of a lover. If she's looking for a friend, she could've just called her girl friends instead of having dinner with you.

Women classify men in their lives as either a friend or a lover. If you are tired of being treated as a friend, then it's about time that you become her lover. The first step is to be a man and unleash that attention-grabbing masculine appeal. Act confident, bold, and sexually interested around women. You don't have to be cocky; just be confident. This will serve as a signal for her that you want something more than friendship. Stop acting like a doormat and start acting like a challenge. Don't be so accommodating in letting her make the decisions. This is why most women are drawn to bad boys because of the sexual power that they see in them. Also, don't make her think that you want her badly because the more you appear to want something desperately, the less chance you might get it.

I suppose I am past the stage of dating or the "getting to know you so we can be more than friends" stage. Few years back, I considered dating a fun and exciting way to get to know other people, especially the opposite sex. Now, my special someone and i are enjoying the comfortable stage we are currently in. As for those teeners who would like try the fun sides of dating, the following tips would be very helpful.

Dating Tip number 1: Always remember that dating is a chance to get to know the person better. It is considered as the fastest way to assess whether your date has something you'd be interested to know more about.

Dating Tip number 2: It is ok to date two to three persons at a time. Since there are still no commitments, might as well discover what the others may interest you. When you get to know all of them, it is easier for you to decide who interests you more.

Dating Tip number 3: Never ever consider him/her as your soulmate or "the one" since you are still young and boyfriends and girlfriends come and go. What is more important for teenagers is to avoid treating all relationships seriously. Just merely enjoy being young and meet people of your age.

So to all those teeners who enjoy dating or those who consider dating a means to get to know others, read on guys!

So okay, once you've spotted your girl, there's no turning back. You have got to move in for the kill. You see, it's pretty frustrating to let go of an opportunity like that. Looking at beautiful women is very easy, I admit. But seeing your prospective "girlfriend" is a rare one.

This happens to a lot of guys. They see the woman of their dreams, they see their future with that woman, but, the only problem is, she's surrounded by her girlfriends. Now that's painfully stressful. Taking out a woman from her pack of girlfriends is as hard as pulling out a needle from a hay stack. This can happen anywhere. As long as it's a public place, the possibility of scoping out your future girlfriend is a great one. Also another great possibility is finding out that your woman is actually being sandwiched between a dozen of her protective girlfriends.

The best thing is to pick out your woman from her pack without triggering the "he's no good" looks from her girlfriends is that you have to make the right moves. You have to maintain a "non-sexual" eye contact. By this, I am saying that you avoid appearing like a pervert. You should approach the "pack" as a whole, introduce yourself, and then zoom in to your "chosen one". That way, you won't be so rude to all the other girls. You should also go for the subtle body movement hints. You can also try touching her in a friendly way. Again, do not be too driven by your hormones as you might turn out to be the pervert that you really are. Kidding aside, if you really feel threatened by the pack, bring another guy friend with you. Do not bring your loser guy friend, though. He'll just repel the other girls, thus you'll lose your prospective girlfriend along. Your guy friend will act as your "wing man", entertaining the other girls, while you're moving in for the kill. So guys, good luck with your hunting.

I find dating funny. I do not know why, but, I really do. Of course, it is very enjoyable. You get to hang out and enjoy the company of others. You also get your much-awaited self-gratification moments. C'mon, don't tell me that you don't secretly wish that she notices your perfectly buffed biceps. But, seriously speaking, I find dating funny in more ways than one.

Let's start with the flirting. Before you head to your romantic dinner date, it is inevitable that you have flirted before. How else can you get the girl, anyway? I like to flirt when I'm in the mood. Sometimes, it puzzles me because the women just don't dig me. When I do intend to stay nonchalant around them, they flock around me. Why is that? Well, I know for a fact that women respond more to visual pick-ups. This is when you say nothing, but, you look at them seductively. Or, you can just give them a smile by ways of eye contact. That would really keep them coming. The next best thing is to be quite honest. Ditch the Shakespeare act and compliment women on what you really see as beautiful and attractive. They would surely appreciate that.

So, you need not think of too many overkill pick-up lines, just to get the girl. You just have to muster have your courage, twitch your eyes into a dazzling smile and wait for the prey to come to you. Innocent flirting is just what you need to get the ball rolling, so, start the game.

I have always wondered why women have the penchant for bad boys. I never understood why it all boils down to the Johnny Depp types when clearly, they're the ones who do nor show too much enthusiasm when it comes to wooing women. It's the women who actually try to impress them, so to speak. So, what is it about not being the perfect gentleman or the perky enthusiastic lad that turns women on? What are the mistakes that guys make?

The first thing is, never be too perfectly nice. Of course, there are many of us who are naturally nice. But, when it comes to women, you have to make them feel that interest and attraction on you. Don't lay it all out by being the "too nice" guy. Women are like men, in the sense that women want a 'bad guy challenge'. Who gets challenged with nice men, anyway? Also, never try to persuade a woman to like you. For Pete's sake, they'll like you when they like you.

That's just how the world turns. When you're out on a romantic date, don't spill your guts out. Never be the first to share your feelings too early. If she does it, that's fine. But, if you do, they'll lose interest. I tell you, women may not admit it, but they like figuring guys out by themselves. If they figure you out too soon, they'll drop you, just like that. So, sometimes it can be a mistake to be too nice.

I have always wanted a date who's totally honest, absolutely punctual, and very straightforward. It's never advisable to lie or hide things that your date or your partner should know. When you get past the first date, you'll be more comfortable with each other afterwards, comfortable enough to share your deepest and darkest secrets. Well, honesty may always be the best policy, but blurting out unwanted things is another.

I think that there are just some information that you should censor. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're lying to her face or you're hiding. Keeping certain information to yourself is also one way to save a budding relationship. You should never tell her that your family doesn't like her that much, even yet. Of course, it's still too early to drop a bomb like that. Never tell your date that you still think that other women are attractive, or that you still flirt with other women. Don't ever admit your insecurities if you don't want her to use them against you in the future. Another important thing, never ever compare her to your ex-girlfriends. Women tend to lose it at just that. Don't ever tell her that an important sports event is more preferable than your date. Lastly, never find her girlfriends hot. I tell you, once you hit that nerve, you're done.

The first call is always the most important. Perhaps you just met your prospective date for the first time. The next thing to do is ask for their number. When they give the number, that's your cue to make the first call. But, when and how will you make that call? You have to make a darn good impression even over the phone. You shouldn't come off looking too eager and you shouldn't keep them waiting for that call either. So, what's the real deal when it comes to first calls? It may seem like a pretty easy task but it's really mind-boggling, not to mention, exasperating and sometimes it develops into an unexpected stressful feeling.

So, when should you really call after they have dropped you their digits? It's a cardinal rule to never call the next day. Calling the next day immediately would only make you seem desperate and eager. But, never make the call a week or two after you've gotten their numbers. Truth be told, if you took that long to call them, they wouldn't bother to remember who you are at all. Your call should be made at night, not too early in the evening and never too late. Make sure that you're calling after dinner time and before bed time. That way, you wouldn't be bothering them when you call. You should always call from a place that's private and comfortable. The relaxed setting would also calm your nerves. Hence, you wouldn't sound nervous and there's a huge chance that you won't stutter. You should start the conversation since you called. Make nice and pleasant small talks. Observe if they want to talk for a long time. If they're busy, make your point and call it a night. The most important thing is to ask them out on a date. After that, you can chitchat your night away after your first date.

Sometimes, what you wear on a first date matters the most. You might think that it's too superficial to base judgment on your looks alone. But, let's face it, it does matter. Who would want to show up on a first date looking so boring? Of course, you would want to impress your date the first time you go out. So, what should you wear?

For the ladies, it all depends on where you're going and what you want to happen on your first date. If you're going to a fine restaurant, be dressy but not overdressed. Wear make-up, but don't overdo it; it's better if you keep your face looking fresh and natural. If you want to go hot and heavy after your date, wear something sexy and provocative. The guys will get the hint immediately. If you just want a peck on the cheek after your date, wear something that's more on the conservative dressing side. But, don't go for the granny look if you don't want him to bail out on you. For the guys, you just have to keep it simple and clean. Don't be too flashy or too subdued. A nice clean hairstyle would do the trick for you. The main thing is, just look your darn best and take it from there.

What you wear determines what your date will be like and how it will end. Take into consideration your intentions for the date. Of course, you also have to rely on the place or event you are going. Don't wear a cocktail dress if you are both planning to go to a baseball game.

Typically, on first dates, you have to wear something casual and comfortable. This will show your new date what you are like. Plus, it'll be easier for him or her to feel at ease and not intimidated by you.

If you are going on dates for a month now and want to take it to the next level of going steady or moving in together, wear something glamorous and sexy as it will help you partner get convinced that you are a perfect catch.

Dating is a crucial part in any sexual relationship. If you want to be in bed with your partner show a little skin, ladies. And men, show some muscles and highlight some of your assets, like your biceps or butt.

Remember, what you will be wearing will say the words you are too shy to utter. So choose your wardrobe well.

As I have discussed, table manners are a must in all dates over food. What about dating with the absence of food? What if you want to take her out to a movie or invite her to try sky jumping with you? You can't eat while jumping out of a plane, you can't talk while in the theater, what should you do?

Well, whatever you do, keep in mind to be always polite. Politeness is the key. No matter how ugly you are or how bad your halitosis is, if you are polite then all your negative traits will only come in second. No, it is untrue that nice guys finish last. Nice women aren't always at the end of the line, either. Wherever and whatever your date will be, it is imperative that you stay polite.

Comment that her dress or his shoes are nice. Do not over-compliment as she or he might think you're faking it. Open doors for her. Tap his arm lightly if he makes a joke. The key is to be nice, although nice is a vague adjective to become. Smile always and encourage small talk. Give space. Do not be too clingy. Remember that you are just dating. If she has to make a phone call, let her. If he has to check his pager, let him. Give way and be polite. This will give you both an idea on how your relationship will go in case you decide to go steady.

A simple reminder about planning dates is to make sure he or she will like the activity you will be doing. You've met her in the internet. Review her profile there to have an idea of what to do. And yes, always keep in mind to be polite.

Dates are usually done over food. It's the safest way to try to assess somebody. First dates are crucial in making an impression to the person you think of having a commitment with. So be sure to remember and practice your table manners.

Personally, I immediately dismiss a guy on the first date if he doesn't have good table manners. I know many women are like me, too. Table manners are a way to shoe if you have class, if you are well-educated, if you are responsible and if you can keep our apartment clean.

If you want to know more about table manners, ask your mother. Or at least try to remember what she taught you on the dinner table.

Never, ever talk when your mouth is full. This habit is plain rude and nasty. Besides, your dinner date won't understand a thing with that chicken stuffed into your cheek.

Do not chew your food loudly, except if the food is really crunchy and you can't keep it toned down. As much as possible, do not make noise when you are using your utensils.

Cover your mouth when you are using a toothpick, or better, excuse yourself and go to the john. Do not, I repeat, do not spit tiny food specs in the table.

When eating soup, be careful not to make noise when sipping it. Try to get a spoonful of it when it's not too hot already. Also, when scooping soup, use this little quote "away from you, then to you." It's the proper way of soup-eating.

Remember these guides and try to think of some other reminders your mom gave you and for sure, your date will be a blast.

So, you've finally set up a date out of hundreds of hours you've drooled in front of the monitor looking for the perfect schmo. What do you do? You're going out with someone you don't know yet. The first step is to keep private things private. Don't publish your number or any personal information online.

Then you should tell someone where you're going and with whom. Before heading out into the world unknown, make sure you had definite game plan: what activities, where to go, and what time to say goodbye.

Remember never to drink too much and avoid dating in an isolated place such as your apartment. A quick chitchat at a coffee shop won't set you up for danger. Common sense will tell you to keep a safe distance from strangers, especially if they become a little too friendly.

I can’t possibly emphasize this too much. You have got to listen!

Sadly for us, listening is not something many of us enjoy. We’d rather prattle about ourselves endlessly, leaving no stone unturned, holding on tight to that microphone. Well, guess what, you aren’t exactly learning anything new with your mouth open, and I’ve got a shiny cent here that says your partner wouldn’t mind being heard once in a while. A good relationship, after all, is symbiotic.

True listening entails focus and empathy, though. Often, we get caught up with rehearsing what to say next once your partner shuts up, that we haven’t really listened at all. Take the time to listen, really be interested with your partner, and ask questions. You’ll be amazed to find out what you’ve been missing the whole time.

Online dating is more than just having a killer profile plus a charming photo. Surely, your personal ad acts as your magnet to attract more women. But what happens next?

In order for you to succeed in the dating arena, you must prove that you are more than just a good profile. This is true most especially if you think you have found your ideal date. If you want to win a woman's heart, then you must show her that you are an interesting person to be with. But remember, you must do this without making any prentension or lies. Then you must also show that you are a good listener and that you are interested with the woman. Don't fall into that trap of thinking that a good impression, nice looks, and a physically fit body are enough. More than you know, women seek men who really care and understand.

Like a regular date, online dating will often have some restrictions on age. While the internet will never take the place of a protective parent, it does try to protect the young 'uns. For example, while a parent might allow a child to start dating at, say 16, online dating sites have a requirement that those who join must be 18 years or above to be a part of the online dating community. This is to protect youngsters from any potential threats online.

Of course, there are no restrictions on how old a member can be. You can be 40 or above and still be an active online dater. And after all, isn't age only a number?

So you've done it. Finally had enough balls to post an ad on the internet, looking for that elusive someone. About three days later (or in your case, maybe 3 weeks) the messages start pouring in. Pretty soon your mailbox is nearly swamped (yeah, right) with emails from women wanting to get to know you better. I know this can be overwhelming and all, but don't panic! I'm here to help you.

First off, start filtering your mail. And I don't mean just for spam. Start collecting, then selecting. Pick those you're interested in, and no more. If you try to answer every email that you receive, you'll never get some.

When you do choose to correspond, be careful with what you write. Get ready, there are a lot of don’ts coming:
Don't write your biography over the net. It's one way to bore a potential date.
Don't send too many emails. It will make you look desperate.
Don't talk about sex. Women think of men as sex-crazed animals, and this line of talk won't help with that perception.
Don't be too eager to go on a date. This will reinforce whatever weakling notions she has about you.
And finally, don't ever lie. The truth has a way of sneaking up behind you and biting you on the ass when you least expect it. Honesty, however clichéd it may sound, is still the best policy.

Now you've gotten through the ordeal that was the dinner date, it's now time to move on to a more gut-wrenching, knee-shaking, stomach-turning level of hell: The goodnight kiss.

The question here is, should you or shouldn't you? The answer to that, unfortunately, is a big, fat maybe. It will all depend on how the rest of the date went. If it bored her out of her skull, a simple, fast peck is all you're going have to do, if only to say "I'm sorry for the dull date." If sparks flew, then why are you going to just settle for a small smooch? But don't pounce on your date like a wild animal, masticating her face with your mandibles. Give her a passionate kiss, not too hard or hot; just enough to make her think about you for a while.

But don't just rely on the kiss: Follow-ups are important, and keep the pressure on her!

So now you've gathered up what balls you have and asked her out on a dinner date. To your surprise and mine, she agrees. You set it up. As the big night approaches, you worry and fret. You see, you've never gone on a date before! how will you measure up?

Take a long, deep breath, big man. I'm here to help.

First, look good! if you go on a date with a girl and you show up like you just got out of bed, forget it. Chances are she'll go straight to bed herself, and you're not invited.

Second, never ever let her get bored. You know the saying "first impressions last" ? It's true, it's damn true. If she thinks you're a bore now, she'll always think you are a bore for the rest of her natural life.

Third, keep the conversation light! nobody needs to know about your childhood traumas about your grandfather now. Better save it down the line for your own grandkids.

Fourth, sex is not good dinner conversation topic! Despite what you want, women are always playing hard to get. Let her want you, and you'll have all the sex you want.

Fifth, and lastly, have a good time, and be yourself, within reason of course.