Love Dating

Since I was a kid my mother always taught me that honesty is the best policy. Being the good kid that I was, I always see to it that I tell the truth. But one incident struck me the most. It was over dinner when my date asked me if she's fat. I said to her that she's not that fat, although she's not that slim either. What happened next left me dumbfounded. She snapped and sarcastically told me that I was better off dating anorexic women. I felt that I have to defend what I said, so I told her that she has no right to get mad at me because I only answered her question. If she doesn't like my answer, then she's better off asking her mom for some flattering answers.

After that incident, I got to contemplate about women's preference for men who appear to be committed, caring, romantic, and generous. In other words, they like men who lie. As I look back on that "no holds barred" dinner date, I thought that the situation would have been best handled with a "white lie." Most women need to be told what they want to hear, even the even harmless white lies, for as long as it doesn't appear that you're insulting her intelligence. When I told my friends about what happened, they said that every woman has very basic but tricky questions to ask her man to reassure her fragile ego and to test a man's ability to cope with a stressful situation. Any man who masters these basic questions and prepares for them accordingly will have life of less conflict with women.

Conflicts are inevitable in every relationship. All of us must know how to manage these conflicts so as not to lead sudden outburst of anger. Couples must learn to communicate properly, but there are men resort to tricks to get back at their partner. It is not good to just flee from every confrontations or drop hints of your disappointment. There is a proper way of verbalizing your anger without becoming violent or cold.

The two of you should acknowledge the upsetting situations within the relationship that influence excessive anger, then negotiate a win-win solution. Take time to gather your thoughts and have a clear thinking, and that means the two of you. If you feel you're not yet ready to talk, it is better not to. When it comes to talking it out, first describe the behavior that bothers you; your interpretation of that behavior; your feelings ; and the consequences that the behavior has on you. Then ask the point of view of your partner on your problem. This will pave the way to formulating a solution. Come up with at least three feasible solutions and then decide which one best suits the situation, and then you both implement it. Always remember that problems are easier to resolve in their early stage, so if you feel like there's something wrong, talk about it immediately.

We have said time and again that trust and honesty are the backbones of any good relationship. Married couples are very honest with each other and it keeps the marriage stronger. But does this also hold true for relationships barely getting off the ground? On the contrary, revealing too much about yourself to your partner can leave you vulnerable. Truth can be too much for us to handle, like Jack Nicholson said in A Few Good Men. Revelations of deep, dark secrets in a six-month affair can shake the foundation of the relationship.

So how would you know what to reveal and what to conceal. An embarrassing but treatable disease/disorder, like dyslexia or have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), should take spend some time in the dark. To make sure that your girlfriend will love you and not your wallet, keep your income to yourself. Most importantly, your girlfriend doesn't need to know the names of the 42 women you had sex with. There are also things that you should be honest about from the start, like if you cheated on her or with another girl, your plans on where to take the relationship, and where you will be going exactly every Friday nights. There's a time to talk and a time to shut up.

Most of us love the thrill of always being left to guess. A lot of women are drawn to men whom they find very mysterious. The logical explanation is that more time you spend thinking of someone, the more attracted you become to them. The bigger the room you leave for mystery, the more time your woman will spend thinking of you, and this builds the better chance of her getting to like you more. Let's face it, we love challenges. Once we have known all the things about the other person, we start to lose interest. I say to all guys out there: Keep your lips sealed and hold your horses, because mystery is an asset.

There are simple means in keeping your mystery during a date. First is to let her do more of the talking. Be the one who asks more questions for her to answer to make her feel like she has to prove her worthiness to you. Never ever blab about the past, specifically your exes. Also, she doesn't need to hear about your family's dirty secrets and issues. Don't make a therapist out of your date by talking about your family problems. But the most important thing to do to keep your mystery is to speak only in general. Tell her what you do, but not how much you get paid. Tell her where you live, but don't describe your house design. Just leave the specifics of your life for the succeeding dates, which are not far possible if you maintain that level of mystery.

Your friends is the fastest means in which you can meet new people, considering today's fast-paced life. Sometimes men would be too kind and introduce friends to women that they like themselves. But there are many unwritten rules between friends. One important unwritten rule is to never use anything friends say against them. The other one, which I could say have ruined so many friendships, is don't date your friend's exes. As much as anybody can say that exes do not actually mean anything to them, it would still hurt anyone to see a close friend and an ex dating. The rule of thumb is that no matter how long you have been attracted to a woman and no matter how much you think you are in love, drop any thoughts of dating any of your friends' ex-girlfriends. If you let that chance pass because you are too shy, better forget it. It is still always easier to approach women you know, and chances are that your friend spilled enough juicy details about his former partner that you know exactly what makes her tick. Women may be beautiful, loving, wonderful, charming, and seemingly perfect, but bear in mind that no woman is worth the loss of a close friend.

Moving in with the woman you love the most can be the happiest day of your life. But before celebrating, remember that moving in with your girlfriend involves a lot of responsibility, commitment, disclosure, and compromise. Make sure that you are moving in with her for the right reasons, that you want to take the relationship to the next level of commitment, and not because you'll get free and instant sex while you save a little extra money on rent. If you move in with her, it means you'll always have to consult her everytime before making a final decision. It means that from now on someone will be waiting home for the other person. Every night outs and clubbing needs prior notice.

But the most important concern is that you might lose excitement for her as you see her everyday. We don't live in a Hollywood set up, we don't look our best every minute. It is important that the both of you practice activities that maintain the flare in the relationship. Live in with someone who you love, who's company you enjoy, and you have similar interests with. It is not always a bed of roses, and moving in requires a lot of commitment.

There is a big difference between men and women when it comes to getting over past relationships. It is much more difficult for women to move on and they can be the most secretive creature you can find. There are women who jump into a commitment when they have yet to get over their feelings for their ex. There are tell-tale signs to spot your girlfriend's excess emotional baggage. Be watchful of her phone conversations especially if she refuses to tell you who it was as it looks that she's got something to hide.

Women who are still hang up from their ex have difficulty in opening themselves to their new man, emotionally and even sexually. The problem worsens when you already suspect that it's about her past and confronts her about it, she refuses to talk, maybe she's afraid that you might get mad if you find out the truth or she doesn't want to hurt you. If you are certain that she got an excess baggage, don't hastily blame her. Stand by your girl and remind her that life is better on the other side of the fence, and you should be the guy to show her that. It is important to let your woman sort out her issues first before putting commitment pressure on her.

How many times have we encountered a person who just won't make a commitment, someone who always needs a space, who's not sure about a serious relationship at the moment? What does fear of commitment actually mean? How would you know that it is really a fear of commitment and not just a lame excuse for a third party involved?

Look at the fear of commitment itself by asking yourself if you are concerned about the idea of forever and if you fear losing the freedom that being single brings. Try to understand where these feelings are rooted so you can choose to address them. Maybe you need more time to grow emotionally before jumping into a long-term relationship.

It could also be that you fear committing to a particular relationship written off as "commitment-phobia" in general. Do you feel a genuine connection or is there a vague feeling of something missing? Reflect if you and your partner shares the same vision with regards to your relationship and if you are both aware of the other party's vision. If someone is not really "into" the relationship, maybe it's time to ask if it is worth keeping. The ability to make a lasting commitment is the first step in planning to build a healthy lasting relationship.

Most people find excitement in the diversity of difference that creates the initial attraction - the other person has things (traits, etc.) that you don't and vice versa. The possibility of building a successful foundation with each other lies on the way you are opposites and the way you communicate as opposites. In the short term, you may be able to work around the issues brought about by your differences. But what if a long-term relationship is what you are after? Will you go to the party alone because your partner would rather watch a movie?

Being in a relationship with a person who is a strong opposite of you can definitely have long term consequences. The way you communicate with each other will determine how your relationship will work. Keeping an open mind and having the strong ability to compromise will create a content and secure environment amongst opposites. Stubbornness will only bring about disastrous results.

Can live with the differences or would you rather share your time with someone who likes and wants similar things that you do? Think about the foundation where your relationship is based on and the exciting and stimulating things you find about the differences. Are both you and your partner great communicators with the ability to compromise or your individual differences just bring endless conflicts. It all boils down to your love being able to conquer these differences.

I bet all of us have experienced being mesmerized by a man/woman sitting beside us in the bus, and I bet most of us have been confused if what we felt was merely infatuation, a strong shot of chemistry, or growing love. The truth is, infatuation and chemistry are essentially the same thing and both are a very, very different from real love. Harville Hendrix wrote in his book, Keeping the Love You Find, that chemistry or infatuation is actually an attraction to a person who combines: the worst traits of our parents or childhood care takers to infatuate us; the negative traits that infatuate us and we possess but deny in ourselves; the traits that we find infatuating but have been repressed in us by our upbringing; the infatuating traits that society denies our gender. The person we are infatuated to is in fact the last thing we consciously want.

According to Hendrix, we are all in search of our "Imago" who is an unconscious image of the person our childhood programmed us to fall in love or become infatuated with. It's like a homing device that drives us to repeat ourselves, choosing over and over the facsimiles of our caretakers' worst traits. We also seek for an Imago who embodies our negative traits that have been buried and repressed in ourselves. That kind of Imago makes us feel like a whole person without having to take responsibility for aspects of ourselves that make us uncomfortable.

I'm sure most men out there have been asked by their girlfriends "Do I look fat?" and was caught flat-footed. If you say no, she would kid that you're lying, and pandemonium will open if you try to say yes. So how do we field the age-old "fat question?"

Never ever pause before answering, even for a fraction of a second. A slight pause will cause an earthquake of insecurity to run through those her jiggly thighs(just kidding). Try responding with "Do you think I'd date a fat girl?" or "You never look fat ….You know why? Because you're not!" If you want to make sure you don't hear the question again, the next time she asks, put your hands on your own thighs, butt or stomach, whip up your most insecure look and say, "No, why? Do I look fat?" Turn her own dumb question against her.

Sometimes she would camouflage the fat question with Do these pants/skirt/shorts make my ass look fat? I suggest you press against her, plant your hands firmly on her fat back side, and whisper that far from making her look fat, the pants/skirt/shorts make her look even hotter than she already is, so hot in fact that you must remove them right now.

Don't ever think that only women wait for the right time or perfect man to pop their cherry. It may be hard to believe but there are men who still place their values and morals above their primal hormonal instincts of "dropping a load." There are many reasons for a man to remain a virgin late in his life. There is a percentage of the male population that clings to an ideal in the world of love and relationships and save their bodies for the right woman.

It is inevitable that most women think there's something wrong with male virgins at it is contrary to conventions. The problem arises when the man keeps on turning away all the sexy women that come his way and want to get intimate with him. Maybe his expectations with women are high, or worst, unrealistic. A man who refuses to get into the game may not be able to find his luck. The truth is women loves their man to take. Giving it a try is the only way one can find out. It is better to act now and fail than to wait for the perfect time or woman which might never come.

Arguments are but inevitable in all relationships, no matter how good of a person your are. In most of these arguments, it's always the man who's at the losing end for reasons that they were caught with their pants down or unzipped. But the truth behind men's perennial defeat is that women will never admit that they're wrong, as in never. The trick is to prove to yourself that you're right, while making her believe she's right as well.

If you are in a classy restaurant, don't raise your voice, and by appearing as the composed one, she will only end up looking bad with her anger. Once she had calmed down like you are, it means you have won. And always keep an open ear to what she has to say. She already thinks that men don't know how to listen, so don't prove her right. By listening, you get to pay attention to her words use it against her.

Just because you're the man it doesn't mean you can't be emotional. Sometimes it can be your winning card. An aggressive man who shows that he can get hurt by the words she's saying is the king of men. And finally, decide if winning the argument is worth losing the relationship. If ruining the relationship means getting your life back, then feel free to open the flood gate of personal insults, but there will be no turning back.

Attraction doesn't make logical sense, and women aren't attracted to guys they see as average. Women don't say "Oh, he's a kind, honest, loyal type of guy from a good family..etc" to a guy they are attracted to, instead they say "He's sexy"... "There's chemistry between us"..."I really feel something for him...etc" If a woman feels a strong attraction for you, she'll go out of her way to find good reasons to be with you, even if you're not her "physical type". However, no amount of gifts, favors, dinners, kindness, or a good family will make her feel attraction.

Women are far more attracted to things like attitude, confidence, body language, or humor, than looks or money. Those things might initially get a woman's attention, and there are those women that will only settle for a rich or unusually handsome guy, but only in extremely minor cases.
It's very easy to be seen as "above average" if you know what women are looking for, and you know how to deliver. But if you are perceived as "average" early on, then a switch goes off in her mind, and the game will be over before it's even begun.

Find out what most guys do that women see as "average", and what you can do to instantly be seen as "above average" and, most importantly, attractive. The most important is that you're doing something completely different than other guys. That what set's you apart from the other "average guys."

You love her and you want her and you have tried to tell her countless times in different ways but she does not respond. Because of your love for her and you value the close relationship you shared, you feel very sad that she has changed much, and it hurts you more. This is not a new thing among couples, when one partner suddenly changes and stops responding to love. One partner falls out of love and hurts the other partner. I

Accept that the she no longer loves you. It may sound unbelievable to you after many years of close relationship, but this is the awful truth. Stop hurting yourself by revisiting what all you got for your love for it will only make you feel very sad. You can start looking for someone who understands you right from day one. After the break up, when you rejoin the dating scene, look for someone who will play on a level field with you. Till you get that person, focus on all your positive qualities and devote your time to do what you could not when you were still in the relationship, like staying in the gym all day. But if you feel that you will not get a partner of your choice, or are afraid of getting hurt again, don't fret and just move along.

If you find dating someone from the office a complicated thing to get into, imagine how dating your boss can drive you nuts. Although it's very natural to fall in love with the person you closely work with, in this case your boss, most of the time it's a lightning rod for trouble. So what are the things you should look into should you fall in love and date your boss?

Keep your feelings to yourself and maintain a level of professionalism and work ethics when you're in the office for the sake of your boss. Gossip spreads like and epidemic inside the office. And for Christ's sake, don't make out or have sex in the office. Other workers don't want to be shocked by the sight of two people making out in the elevator, board room or on top of the conference table. Get a room outside the office.

It's inevitable that someone will eventually find out about your intimate relationship with your boss. If someone asks you, tell the truth but be very discreet. But the hardest part of it all is separating social life from your work life. If the sex last night was horrible, don't bring your disappointments during staff meetings. Practice wearing two hats, if you know what I mean.

You have been friends for a long time and have become each other's confidant when it comes to many things. You spend a lot of time together eating in a classy barbecue restaurant, then suddenly, you felt jealous of his dates. You've been having extreme feelings of attraction and a desire for something more than friendship. Could you be developing a "friends crush?"

It's a difficult situation to be in because I have been there. You desire her everyday that you are together yet you don't want to risk the friendship so you just keep quiet about your feelings. You can spend less time with your friend (crush) while seeking out new friendships to pursue and strengthen. Stop the text messaging for a while. Maybe seeing them lesser than usual can weaken and perhaps disappear altogether as they move on with new people.

But personally I find it very difficult to be intimate with another while hiding or denying your true feelings and needs to them. I suggest the hardest yet most liberating action which is to tell the truth. How many times have we said "I don't want to ruin the friendship," but obviously there's more than friendship that's going on. You have to define your relationship, may it be friendship or romance, it cannot be both.

Not all those who initiate the break up are bad people. Believe me when I say that as much as it is hard to hear someone breaking up with you, it's also hard to initiate the break up. There are no words that come without pain. But there are at least nice ways of saying it.

When you have given breaking up a thousand thoughts and prayers, be direct as much as possible and don't even of saying it through a simple text message. Stop saying further justifications like "if things were different" or "it's not you, it's me." Words like that will just induce more pain and raise more questions. Don't say consolations like "we can still be friends" if in fact you have no intentions of staying friends with that person.

Maintain your politeness by speaking in a very soft voice and keep your eye contact. Anticipate anger by understanding that it is very painful to be rejected. Your partner may call you names but don't take it personally. Also, your partner may still try to win you back after the rejection, just like what you see in those romantic movies hoping you'll change your mind. Don't give in to the antics and be firm with your decision.

There are some occasions in life that we can't forget. Although not all of them are worthy to reminisce, but some of them can hardly forget. But, for me, I will never forget my first kiss. It was the most memorable kiss I ever had. That first kiss ended up in marriage.

Actually, there's no secret formula in winning those kissable lips of the one you love. The only thing you should do is to do it sincerely. Women have a strong intuition. When you look at her eyes, she can read your mind. If you kiss her for the first time, she'll decide immediately if she will allow you to do it again. However, as a man, you must do it with respect to make her realize how sincere you are.

Do it in private place. Women want to be treated special. When you give her kiss, do it exclusively, with no one else there to witness your kiss. Also, you have to know the right time to do it. Don't rush with the kissing moment. Show that you can control yourself, too.

We talk much about first dates. Why? This is because first dates are very crucial in having the relationship you are intending to have. After the first date, in case you get a second one, things will just fall in its place almost smoothly.

First dates rarely run smoothly because you are still trying to weigh the person in front of you. Sometimes, you can run on mishaps that can easily turn your date into a night from hell. Sometimes, too, the world conspires into bringing you into an emotional high that is compared with eating large chunks of chocolate called "LOVE."

The key is to be yourself. No matter how much you try to impress your date, if you falsely present yourself in a manner which is not really your characteristic, chances are, you will just have a hard time handling more dates and the relationship. If fate thinks that you are meant to be together, then for sure, the date will get on without a hitch.

Don't lose hope, though, if you find yourself in a bad date with a person you really like. Sometimes it's just a test whether you both can find the funny part of the situation or whether, even through thick and thin, you'll be fine with each other.

Maybe you'll find love, maybe you won't. At least, you went out there. Right?

There are nights when you cry your tear ducts dry, wallowing in the sadness of being alone. Men silently wet their pillows with waters of sadness because of the feeling of emptiness. Women wail with their friends because no one is there to accompany them at night. Why be sad, when you can get up and try to find the love of your life on the internet.

There are pessimists that say nobody can ever find love in cyberspace. I told you, I did already. In addition, you must ask yourself to choose between crying in bed and typing in the computer. I know you'd choose typing in the computer in a heartbeat. Do not lose hope in finding the person for you. Maybe he or she is out there trying to find you too.

Anyway, you can always make new acquaintances in the online community. You will suddenly start to feel like opening up to the world of dating. Get addresses and telephone numbers on the internet and call up dates. Get into the dating scene. You will feel livelier when you do.

Maybe next time, you won't be crying yourself to sleep because you have somebody to hug.

Going on a blind date is always a risk. That sweet voice on the phone might just be that manly-looking person in the corner, downing her (?) twelfth beer of the night. Or she might just be that stunning brunette sashaying her way towards you, with a look that would make lesser men melt.

That's the trouble with blind dates. As a famous mentally-challenged individual once said, "You never know what you're gonna get." As a rule of thumb, I never believe what I hear over the phone when it comes to descriptions. Sure, he may have described himself as tall and tan, but men tend to, let's say, embellish certain facts about themselves.

Blind dates are part of the dating game. It's up to you if you want to take the chance and maybe luck out.

Hugs are a powerful gesture. They can comfort, reassure and let a person feel loved. And there is no greater feeling than that. Some people look all their lives for that feeling. If only everyone in the world learned to hug, it would indeed be a better place.

Learning how to hug is both simple and complicated. The physical aspect of it is the esy part. You just reach out and wrap your arms around a person, but not too tightly, or you'll crack some ribs! The hard part is giving them freely and out of love. Not everybody is eager to hug, as they see it as "not their style" or unmanly. Giving hugs is an art and a science. It triggers the brain to feel happy, and makes you feel good. So what are you waiting for? Give out some hugs today!

You may have won her over; she may have said "yes" to your charms and she may have even accepted your offers of after-work coffee and more. But don't get cocky; you haven't won the fight yet. You still have to deal with the cavalry: Her friends.

Friends are, for the most part, pretty persuasive. You yourself have known of their powers of suggestion (C'mon, just one drink! Or, nobody'll ever know...), so don't expect her to just give up her friends for you. After all, would you do anything less for your friends?

Winning over her friends is a crucial battle. Here are some tips to help you win it.

Don't be shy to ask for a night out with them. This will show that you like her and her friends, and aren't uncomfortable with them.

Be interested in them. No, not in that way! Just enough to put them at ease with you and show them you aren't an aloof goof.

Be a more considerate person. Even if you weren't one already, it doesn't hurt for you to ask about them once in a while, or greet them a happy birthday or two. Just don't forget your girlfriend's.

I think this hardly needs to be said, but be nice to her. It'll really help your image to show her buds that she is in good hands with you. But that doesn't mean you should stop when her friends are gone.

I know it's hard, but a good victory never came without a high price. Take these tips to heart, and your heart definitely won't become a casualty of war.